Be Confident

"No girl is more beautiful than you are, they are just more confident." -Christian Wolff

As we were talking on facetime this morning, my husband asked me if anything was bothering me the moment I sighed. I told him that I wasn't feeling good about myself. I started to complain about why I wasn't born pretty.Why I never looked like a grown up woman in the pictures I'd taken or whenever I tried to strike a sexy looking face, I always failed. I even questioned him of the reason why he would be attracted to me in the first place. Why he wouldn't just find someone that's physically better than me. Maybe he was fed up with all the complaints concerning how ugly I feel and how I am never satisfied with myself, he just took a deep breath and looking away from the camera.

I have always been so self conscious when it comes to talking about my appearance. I have this tendency of comparing myself to other women. It's like my second nature. I'd browse instagram pictures and ask my husband if the girls in the pictures are looking good or if they are cuter than me. It is actually so pathetic that I always try to find consolation from husband by comparing myself to people on social media, whom I barely know, only to get an affirmation that I am no less good looking than them. Another case, whenever I meet someone new and I am feeling intimidated by how good this person presents herself, I'd always throw the same statements or complaints at my husband.

But that's not the worst part of it. I have started to have a trust issue with my husband. I never feel satisfied with his answer regarding to this matter. When he asserts that I am looking better than those  girls, I'd think that he is doing that to make me feel better about myself or because he just feels obliged to say so as he is my husband and maybe he thinks it would bring him troubles if he'd say otherwise. On the other hand, when he gives me the opposite answer to tease me, I'd get offended and accusing him of not loving me anymore. Yeah, I am hard to please.

Unlike the previous times where he jokingly said that it doesn't matter how my reaction would be to whatever he said, I would still be the best of the best for him, this morning he said something unexpected that I'd never forget and would change my perspective forever. He looked back at the camera, showing his serious expression and told me it's only a matter of mindset.

"Those other girls," he started," they are not actually looking better than you, honey. It doesn't matter what you would think about me after hearing this. Maybe you'd think that I am talking cliche at the moment but, to me, those girls are never more beautiful than you. They only have something that you don't posses. It's the confidence."