"No girl is more beautiful than you are, they are just more confident." -Christian Wolff
As we were talking on facetime this morning, my husband asked me if anything was bothering me the moment I sighed. I told him that I wasn't feeling good about myself. I started to complain about why I wasn't born pretty.Why I never looked like a grown up woman in the pictures I'd taken or whenever I tried to strike a sexy looking face, I always failed. I even questioned him of the reason why he would be attracted to me in the first place. Why he wouldn't just find someone that's physically better than me. Maybe he was fed up with all the complaints concerning how ugly I feel and how I am never satisfied with myself, he just took a deep breath and looking away from the camera.
I have always been so self conscious when it comes to talking about my appearance. I have this tendency of comparing myself to other women. It's like my second nature. I'd browse instagram pictures and ask my husband if the girls in the pictures are looking good or if they are cuter than me. It is actually so pathetic that I always try to find consolation from husband by comparing myself to people on social media, whom I barely know, only to get an affirmation that I am no less good looking than them. Another case, whenever I meet someone new and I am feeling intimidated by how good this person presents herself, I'd always throw the same statements or complaints at my husband.
But that's not the worst part of it. I have started to have a trust issue with my husband. I never feel satisfied with his answer regarding to this matter. When he asserts that I am looking better than those girls, I'd think that he is doing that to make me feel better about myself or because he just feels obliged to say so as he is my husband and maybe he thinks it would bring him troubles if he'd say otherwise. On the other hand, when he gives me the opposite answer to tease me, I'd get offended and accusing him of not loving me anymore. Yeah, I am hard to please.
Unlike the previous times where he jokingly said that it doesn't matter how my reaction would be to whatever he said, I would still be the best of the best for him, this morning he said something unexpected that I'd never forget and would change my perspective forever. He looked back at the camera, showing his serious expression and told me it's only a matter of mindset.
"Those other girls," he started," they are not actually looking better than you, honey. It doesn't matter what you would think about me after hearing this. Maybe you'd think that I am talking cliche at the moment but, to me, those girls are never more beautiful than you. They only have something that you don't posses. It's the confidence."
Thursday, 24 March 2016
Wednesday, 2 March 2016
It's been a while
Yeah, it's been a while since the last time I wrote on this blog. My life has been revolving so much around learning German, adapting to the new cultures and taking care of my beloved husband since then. I barely had time to think about this blog, let alone calling to my mind that I owned one. Yep. I moved to Germany at the end of 2014 to start a new venture, a new chapter in my life and try to reveal the mystery of life in this country.
Obviously this is not the first time I try to get out of my comfort zone, that is to say to settle down in a completely new environment. However, this experience is quite more challenging than what I had before. At the time I decided to move out of my nest, my parents' house, to Jakarta, I didn't have to deal so much with language and cultural barriers. But this time they are my biggest problem.
Moving to another country is like being born again or to be precise you'll have too act like a baby who is trying to acquire the language by perceiving whatever they see and learn from their surrounding. It has never once crossed my mind that I had to learn German, needless to say using it as an everyday language. It's so frustrating to learn that English, which is commonly known as an international language, can't be of any help to you to survive in this country. In fact, not many people in Germany speak English, maybe only 50 percents of them do. And the worst of all, on the day of my arrival, I could only say danke , nein, and ja. I never learned it before. Okay I had German as one of my subjects in high school, but come on, no one would ever be able to speak a language unless they use it on a daily basis.
I have to say that I almost gave up on learning German because of these articles:
.
Apart from the language, as a baby, you'll also have to perceive the world through what comes to your taste buds. Yeah. Exactly. Every single food I ate tasted like something that was lousily cooked. I'm sorry but I am from a country that's rich with herbs and spices. All I could taste from german food was the saltiness that overpowered the whole seasoning of the cooking. In other words, the saltier, the tastier. As of today, I am still a little bit skeptical about their food preferences.
so this is one of the things that I have to deal with in Germany:
Anyways, It is not something that everyone would experience in their life, so I am trying to treasure every memory I make and hope to pass it on to my children in the future.
Obviously this is not the first time I try to get out of my comfort zone, that is to say to settle down in a completely new environment. However, this experience is quite more challenging than what I had before. At the time I decided to move out of my nest, my parents' house, to Jakarta, I didn't have to deal so much with language and cultural barriers. But this time they are my biggest problem.
Moving to another country is like being born again or to be precise you'll have too act like a baby who is trying to acquire the language by perceiving whatever they see and learn from their surrounding. It has never once crossed my mind that I had to learn German, needless to say using it as an everyday language. It's so frustrating to learn that English, which is commonly known as an international language, can't be of any help to you to survive in this country. In fact, not many people in Germany speak English, maybe only 50 percents of them do. And the worst of all, on the day of my arrival, I could only say danke , nein, and ja. I never learned it before. Okay I had German as one of my subjects in high school, but come on, no one would ever be able to speak a language unless they use it on a daily basis.
I have to say that I almost gave up on learning German because of these articles:
 |
| the german articles source: http://webpages.shepherd.edu/CSTAIR01/getting%20started/derdiedas.html |
Apart from the language, as a baby, you'll also have to perceive the world through what comes to your taste buds. Yeah. Exactly. Every single food I ate tasted like something that was lousily cooked. I'm sorry but I am from a country that's rich with herbs and spices. All I could taste from german food was the saltiness that overpowered the whole seasoning of the cooking. In other words, the saltier, the tastier. As of today, I am still a little bit skeptical about their food preferences.
so this is one of the things that I have to deal with in Germany:
 |
| Currywurst source: http://www.marions-kochbuch.de/dru-pic/0386.jpg |
Anyways, It is not something that everyone would experience in their life, so I am trying to treasure every memory I make and hope to pass it on to my children in the future.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)